Still Mourning

Here is a conversation that I had with my mother on Sunday. I don't remember how this came up but it did. Here it is:

Mom: Do any of your co-workers have a brother or a son they could set you up with?
Me: I don't know and to be honest I don't really care (As if all I talk about all day is my being single)
Mom: You're not getting any younger.
Me: What does that mean?
Mom: Well you want to have children, don't you?
Me: Number one, I don't know if I want to have children. I won't know until I find the right person to share that with. Number two, I don't know if I can have children with all the ovarian problems I have had
Mom: *tsk* You'll never find anyone with that attitude.
Me: Well, I'm not sure if I am ready for another man but when I am hopefully one will come into my life but finding a mate should not be rushed.

I stopped talking to her after that.

SEE what I put up with!

It bothers me that my mom would rather have my settle just to be with someone rather than fall in love or that she thinks that this is so easy to achieve. Sometimes I think that my mom would rather have me fulfill society's stereotypical expectations. I wish that she would understand that I am not fully over the past yet and would stop pushing me and making me seem like a freak for not having a boyfriend.

Can't she be more supportive about it? I'm just not ready. I thought I was but I am not.

A friend at work gave me great advice. She said that breaking up is not much different than mourning a death. You have to grieve the loss of this person in your life and for all the hopes and dreams that you had together. You must mourn, you must grieve and this takes times. Everyone mourns differently. Some take a little time and others much longer but one shouldn't be made to feel bad if it takes them longer than others. Take the time to mourn.

I am still in mourning and that's okay with me.