A Permanent Situation

So, my boyfriend, though he has not said those three little words to me while being sober, is serious about little ol' me.

He says "I love you" SEVERAL times while he is drunk. And I know that he does love me even though he can't say it. But now I realize that he is pretty serious about this relationship and is hoping that it lasts for a long time.

I know this because he has said it. He told me that he has every faith that this will work out. And has said that this relationship will turn into a permanent situation. Today, I got my test results from being sick and everything came back normal. In other words, I am going to be fine. When I told him that everything will turn out just fine, he got super excited! He said and I quote "yeah, lots of sex and kids in my future!" and went on to say that he is happy to hear my news for my sake and not his. When I questioned this he said that he would accept me no matter what, even if that means I am sick or have a disease. He said "if your health is bad, it would still be good for me, I would be accepting of you". Then went on to mention marriage before changing the subject.

So he loves me. He just can't say the word sober....honestly neither can I. I seem to only be able to say them in writing in a Valentine's Day card. So maybe we aren't meant for each other.

Life is too short to not say you love someone when you do. I just can't do it. But I am definitely falling more and more in love with him everyday.