There was only one thing that I told my boyfriend that I wanted to do on my 30th birthday weekend....go bowling. I have been wanting to go bowling for months and after many times being promised this activity I thought that I would be able to actually be given it on my birthday.
My boyfriend did say during the week that he would take me bowling on Saturday before taking me out for some drinks. When the Saturday came, he told me that he didn't feel like bowling and just wanted to go to the bar. This was very disappointing to me. I was upset and a bit sad. I only wanted to do ONE thing on my birthday and now I wasn't even going to get to do it. We went to a bar but I was in such a poopy mood that I didn't even enjoy myself. And the only way my boyfriend could cheer me up was to take me to my favorite place to play pool...and even then I wasn't fully happy.
In the midst of traveling between bars and home, my brother texted me to find out how I did bowling. He knew how excited I was to go bowling and couldn't wait to hear all about it. When he found out that we didn't go bowling simply because my boyfriend didn't feel like it anymore, my brother became angry and told me that I deserve a better boyfriend than the one I have.
My brother took me (and my boyfriend) out bowling the next day but it was a little awkward for the two of them. I, however, had a blast. I love bowling...and I got to do what I wanted on my birthday after all, even if it wasn't my boyfriend who planned it for me.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Passion Lost
I think that I am ready for a career change. I am just not happy doing what I am doing.
It's sad really. I am good at my job. Some have told me that I am great at my job. The parents, children and my co-workers often compliment me on my good work , creative projects I have done and the lessons I do with the children. The kids like "Miss Alison" because she makes learning fun. When I go out and tell others what I do, they light up with how "rewarding" of a job it is and say how much I must love it. Problem is, I am starting to hate it. I am losing my passion to teach young children. And once one has lost their passion for any profession, it makes the work difficult.
I have thought about how I would like to start a new career. I have always wanted to do forensic science. I get very excited thinking about how great it would be to work in a lab and help solve crimes. At the same time, it frightens me to even think about all the change that needs to occur for this career change to happen. Going back to school later in life for a career that I may not like scares me, not to mention the costs of higher education and time away from work to pursue it. Also, I have been researching and not many schools around here offer forensic science as a major. Many offer criminal justice, but I am not sure if that is the right path. I am in need of a career counselor or college advisor to figure that out.
I'm not sure what I want to do. I could remain at my current position and be unhappy. I could just accept that I am a preschool teacher and hope that my passion rekindles. Or, I could go back to school to try something new and hope that I like it. Maybe just trying it out would make me feel better so that I don't regret it later in life.
I don't like change. Change scares me. I wish it could just go smoothly. I wish the answers could come easy.
It's sad really. I am good at my job. Some have told me that I am great at my job. The parents, children and my co-workers often compliment me on my good work , creative projects I have done and the lessons I do with the children. The kids like "Miss Alison" because she makes learning fun. When I go out and tell others what I do, they light up with how "rewarding" of a job it is and say how much I must love it. Problem is, I am starting to hate it. I am losing my passion to teach young children. And once one has lost their passion for any profession, it makes the work difficult.
I have thought about how I would like to start a new career. I have always wanted to do forensic science. I get very excited thinking about how great it would be to work in a lab and help solve crimes. At the same time, it frightens me to even think about all the change that needs to occur for this career change to happen. Going back to school later in life for a career that I may not like scares me, not to mention the costs of higher education and time away from work to pursue it. Also, I have been researching and not many schools around here offer forensic science as a major. Many offer criminal justice, but I am not sure if that is the right path. I am in need of a career counselor or college advisor to figure that out.
I'm not sure what I want to do. I could remain at my current position and be unhappy. I could just accept that I am a preschool teacher and hope that my passion rekindles. Or, I could go back to school to try something new and hope that I like it. Maybe just trying it out would make me feel better so that I don't regret it later in life.
I don't like change. Change scares me. I wish it could just go smoothly. I wish the answers could come easy.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Quotations
"I love you more than I love them," he said as we stood in an embrace in his dark living room. Those words made all the troubles that we go through melt away. Hearing that made me realize that everything, with love, will work out just fine. Just have faith.
"When we get married, I am going to smear the cake icing all over your face," he said as we were driving home last night. Excuse me.....what? Did you say "When" not "If". Oh hooray! He is actually thinking of the future and he wants me to be a part of it. It makes me happy and relieved that he will be a part of my life forever. It's comforting and exciting.
I realized last night that my boyfriend is thinking of this relationship as more than just a "dating" situation and more of a long term committed relationship. It makes me feel more secure and much happier to know that he feels the same as I do. I smile just thinking about it.
:)
"When we get married, I am going to smear the cake icing all over your face," he said as we were driving home last night. Excuse me.....what? Did you say "When" not "If". Oh hooray! He is actually thinking of the future and he wants me to be a part of it. It makes me happy and relieved that he will be a part of my life forever. It's comforting and exciting.
I realized last night that my boyfriend is thinking of this relationship as more than just a "dating" situation and more of a long term committed relationship. It makes me feel more secure and much happier to know that he feels the same as I do. I smile just thinking about it.
:)
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