It's 5 o' clock somewhere

I am very concerned about my boyfriend.

On Thursday night, he told me he wanted to go out with the boys. So he went with my blessing.

At 3 a.m. I am awoken by my phone ringing. My boyfriend never calls so when it was him I thought something was really wrong. I answered with a concerned "Hello." He was drunk. He told me that our friend drove him home because he was drunk and was upset that his car was still on the street. He wanted me to come pick him up to go get his car. I refused since I was warm in my bed and he was in no condition to drive. I told him I would pick him up the next day to get his car but not before.

But now I have more of the story. I talked to the designated driver about what happened. He told me that my boyfriend was so drunk that even the bartenders were worried. They were going to call a cab. Our friend told me that he has never seen him this bad.

My boyfriend drinks more often than anyone I know. That's not saying that he drinks a lot all the time, just the opposite. He drinks maybe one drink but drinks it everyday. Then on the weekends he will drink but not get drunk usually. But I have never met anyone who needs a drink before going to the movies or to bowling (two things I enjoy doing but never get to do because he prefers bars). I never met a family who at 5 p.m. start drinking a rum and coke. His mom drinks while watching television every night.

He has an excuse for it every time. "I'm Irish," "It's 5 o'clock somewhere," "Come on, its the weekend," "I had a bad day at work," "I just need a drink to calm down," "One drink isn't going to hurt". I've heard them all. I'm just tired of hearing it.

He says that he wants a future with me, but I have no desire to be married to or have children with someone who is a drunk. I am not spending my life with someone that will need a drink before seeing me walk down the aisle or need a few drinks before our children's soccer game.

What my boyfriend needs is help. He needs to go to therapy. I don't think he drinks enough to go to a rehab, but he definitely needs some sort of help. I am hoping that Thursday night kicked some sense into him, but I don't have high hopes for it.

Some would wonder why I stay with a drunk. Don't I deserve better? Perhaps. But I know him. I care for him. I want him to get better. If I didn't love him, I would just let him be a drunk without me. But since I do, I want to see him get help. With that being said, there is also only so much I can take. If he refuses to get help and this continues, I will have to say goodbye to him. That in itself, may be what it takes to get through to him, but I know that he also needs some support to get through it.

I wish I knew how to get him the help that he so desperately needs.