Mommy Dearest

Okay. I don't know where to begin when it comes to my Mom. I guess I want to start by saying I love her. I really do. She just drives me to insanity.

First off, my Mom is not the smartest person. She also has NO memory whatsoever. She isn't that old, but she just can't remember things. So, I have heard the same stories over and over and over and over and over again. I kindly listen, but not fully cause my mind will be elsewhere cause I have heard this already. She also will ask me the same question several times. This morning we were getting ready to do our Saturday morning shopping. She asked me once, "Do you have any books to return to the library?" I said yes and that I put them on the kitchen table. Then 5 minutes later she asked me again and I answered again. Then 2 minutes later she asked me again. I refused to answer her cause she must have heard me at least one of the times I told her. How can she possibly not remember something I told her 2 minutes ago? Or is it that she just isn't listening?

My Mom cannot make a decision for herself even if it was to save her life. This is the part that drives me CRAZY. She is such a nervous person and she asks my opinion about everything. What do you want to eat for dinner? How should I drive to the mall? What should I order for dinner? What are you ordering? Okay, I'll have the same thing then. And when she offers an opinion she finishes the statement by saying "don't you?". She'll say something like, "I think she's pretty, don't you?" And if I don't agree she'll retract her opinion and change it to agree with mine! It drives me crazy. I don't understand how one gets through life with no memory and no self confidence in the decisions they make.

She is such a nervous person. Everything makes her a "wreck". She was a "wreck" going to the DMV this morning. I understand that no one likes going to the DMV. It can at times be a sucky experience, but there is no reason to be overly worried about it. We have a wedding to go to at the end of the month. A family friend of ours is getting married and she is a "wreck" about it. I know that it may be hard for her ( this will be the first wedding since my Dad passed away), but she is most nervous about driving there. The reception is in Pennsylvania and she is afraid that the weather will be snowy and she doesn't know where the reception is. She has asked me to drive her...I haven't fully agreed yet cause if I have a date for the wedding (which if you read my blog you will know is HIGHLY unlikely) I would be driving with them. We were discussing the driving situation the other day and she yelled in the middle of it "Well I don't know where I am going." I yelled back, "No one knows where they are going. They sent directions...follow them." She acts like she is the only one that doesn't know what they are doing. Life is all about new experiences and learning from them. She refuses to learn.

I'm not sure how to deal with it anymore without losing my mind. I may have already lost it. I need help.

(Speaking of weddings, anyone out there free the Saturday after Thanksgiving that wants to drive out to Pennsylvania and spend time with people they don't know? No......Okay.....another adventure alone......oh yeah, not alone I forgot I'll be driving my Mom. oh can't wait!)

I'm not an evil person, I really do love my Mom. I think I'd love her more if I moved into my own place. Oh well.