Facade

It's funny how you never know what others truly think about you.

Until they tell you.

Last night my mother did just that. And it became clear that my brother is her favorite (which I have known since childhood). She said that my brother is emotional, sensitive and caring. And then said that I am strong and that I don't care about anybody but myself.

In a way, I see her point. I am a strong and confident person. And because I am so confident, I tend not to care what others think about me, cause this is me and there is no changing it. But on the other hand, I care so much about what others think of me that I held myself back from doing things for fear of what my parents would think. Something I am just now starting to get over.

I really don't think that my Mom knows who the real me is. I am a totally different person around her than I am around my friends. In fact, I am the most emotional person I know. I just try to hide it from her. I put up a very good facade.

It really hurt me when she said that last night. I now know what she thinks of me...that I am a horrible person who doesn't care about anyone. That hurts. Now I know what she really thinks of me.

Am I a bad person? Do I know the real me?