I am starting over on the weight loss journey. Not for anyone else but myself. I want to be happier with my appearance and overall be a healthier person.
I think that when I started in January I felt a lot of pressure from my boyfriend to lose weight. And for a while I agreed with him and I was doing a lot to lose weight. I lost 10 lbs and then gained it all back out of nowhere. It was a big yo yo, up and down for four months and I lost my motivation and confidence to continue on with it. So I stopped.
This time I am doing it for me and only me. I'm not even sure if I am going to tell others my plans cause I don't want to feel pressured again.
I think that I can do it this time. Now that the Spring is here, it will be much easier to take walks outside with my dog. Since my schedule changed at work and I have the afternoons free, I will have more time to go to the gym without cramping my evening plans.
I'm hopeful about this. I just hope it works this time.
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Yo-Yo weight
I've been trying to lose weight. I say trying cause I haven't really lost any. I started on January 4th and have lost only 5 pounds at the most. But really my weight has fluctuated between losing 2 - 6 pounds.
It is discouraging. I really am trying. I eat much smaller portions and I am eating healthier. I exercise more than I did before. And yet, nothing. I am about to give up.
I feel now anxiety about eating. I worry that if I eat I will never lose weight. So I have cut out my night time snack for the most part. I try not to eat unless I am hungry. I don't know what to do. Someone told me that I am not eating enough to lose weight. And I understand how that may be true. I just am not hungry for it.
I lost weight last spring without even trying. Just lost 15 lbs over a 2 month period and I wasn't even trying! Then because of medication I gained it all back. Now I am trying and not losing. SO frustrating. Is my medicine preventing me from losing the weight? Should I start eating around the clock (even though I am not hungry for it)?
I need some motivation! I need some support! I need help!
It is discouraging. I really am trying. I eat much smaller portions and I am eating healthier. I exercise more than I did before. And yet, nothing. I am about to give up.
I feel now anxiety about eating. I worry that if I eat I will never lose weight. So I have cut out my night time snack for the most part. I try not to eat unless I am hungry. I don't know what to do. Someone told me that I am not eating enough to lose weight. And I understand how that may be true. I just am not hungry for it.
I lost weight last spring without even trying. Just lost 15 lbs over a 2 month period and I wasn't even trying! Then because of medication I gained it all back. Now I am trying and not losing. SO frustrating. Is my medicine preventing me from losing the weight? Should I start eating around the clock (even though I am not hungry for it)?
I need some motivation! I need some support! I need help!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Not So Skinny, But Still Beautiful
I was talking to my boyfriend on IM.
He at first told me that he was not pleased by my text message to him this morning. I wrote him to tell him that I was upset, frustrated and stressed over my medical issues. Doctors still have not found a diagnosis and with each test that comes back normal I get more and more hopeless and depressed. He told me that I am "causing myself to be a victim" says I should "look past the doom and gloom and say all is well." And said "so what, you don't have the answer yet, move on." He feels that I shouldn't worry about the medical issues at all--that they will be solved when they get solved.
That was just the beginning, then he mentioned my weight. I have gained weight despite my efforts of eating much less than I used to. I believe the weight gain is due to the drugs I have to take to stop the seizures from happening. We have one of his company events to go to this weekend and the dress I want to wear he says may not fit due to the weight gain, even though it fit just a month ago. I told him that I am sure that it will fit, but if it doesn't no big deal, I'll buy another dress. He said "well you should worry about it and worry a lot about it." Now I understand that weight gain can become a health problem, but we are talking about maybe 10 pounds over the past 3 months or so. It's not like I have ballooned up to 300 pounds in 3 months. But that's besides the point.
Let me get this straight, I shouldn't worry about my health and medical issues but I should overly worry about the 10 pounds I have gained! It just got me thinking about how society has put such an emphasis on our looks and our weight that now people think that being skinny is more important than being concerned about medical issues. There is something seriously wrong with this world if I am expected to accept that having seizures nightly is normal as long as I am skinny. Or that I should stop taking the medicine just to lose the weight it made me gain in the first place. It really really bothered me.
As a preschool teacher, I am going to start one by one teaching the children I have care to accept people of all shapes and sizes. It may be a small dent in the problem, but at least I will hopefully make a difference in a small part. We need to teach this to children young, that people of all types, colors, sizes, shapes, orientations, races and religions are what make this country great. Accept and learn from all them.
I can't believe that my boyfriend even would say that to me. Seriously, he is worried about my weight more than the fact that I have seizures at night. Something needs to be said to him because that just isn't right. I am beautiful just the way I am (even if I did gain 10 pounds).
He at first told me that he was not pleased by my text message to him this morning. I wrote him to tell him that I was upset, frustrated and stressed over my medical issues. Doctors still have not found a diagnosis and with each test that comes back normal I get more and more hopeless and depressed. He told me that I am "causing myself to be a victim" says I should "look past the doom and gloom and say all is well." And said "so what, you don't have the answer yet, move on." He feels that I shouldn't worry about the medical issues at all--that they will be solved when they get solved.
That was just the beginning, then he mentioned my weight. I have gained weight despite my efforts of eating much less than I used to. I believe the weight gain is due to the drugs I have to take to stop the seizures from happening. We have one of his company events to go to this weekend and the dress I want to wear he says may not fit due to the weight gain, even though it fit just a month ago. I told him that I am sure that it will fit, but if it doesn't no big deal, I'll buy another dress. He said "well you should worry about it and worry a lot about it." Now I understand that weight gain can become a health problem, but we are talking about maybe 10 pounds over the past 3 months or so. It's not like I have ballooned up to 300 pounds in 3 months. But that's besides the point.
Let me get this straight, I shouldn't worry about my health and medical issues but I should overly worry about the 10 pounds I have gained! It just got me thinking about how society has put such an emphasis on our looks and our weight that now people think that being skinny is more important than being concerned about medical issues. There is something seriously wrong with this world if I am expected to accept that having seizures nightly is normal as long as I am skinny. Or that I should stop taking the medicine just to lose the weight it made me gain in the first place. It really really bothered me.
As a preschool teacher, I am going to start one by one teaching the children I have care to accept people of all shapes and sizes. It may be a small dent in the problem, but at least I will hopefully make a difference in a small part. We need to teach this to children young, that people of all types, colors, sizes, shapes, orientations, races and religions are what make this country great. Accept and learn from all them.
I can't believe that my boyfriend even would say that to me. Seriously, he is worried about my weight more than the fact that I have seizures at night. Something needs to be said to him because that just isn't right. I am beautiful just the way I am (even if I did gain 10 pounds).
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