Confusion

Maybe this relationship is not going to work out.

Maybe I am just meant to be alone and single for the rest of my life.

I could be over reacting here but I swear that my boyfriend tried to break up with me over a text message last night. That's just as bad as breaking up with someone on a post it note (as happened to Carrie in Sex and the City).

A text message seriously. Come on. Grow some balls at least if you are going to do it.

The whole thing leaves me confused. Earlier in the evening we were chatting on instant messenger and everything was happy and fine. We talked about things but it didn't end badly. He even said that he thought of our relationship as a marriage and that no matter what happens we will talk it out. It ended with us making plans for tonight. So I went to bed happy.

Then at 1:30 in the morning the phone beeps and it is a text from him talking about how he didn't have a good day and has been thinking a lot. It was weird. Three hours later he says and I quote "And I won't lie and I feel like shit saying it out loud knowing how much more that will fuel your worry, but it has crossed my mind that it would just be easier to break up. As much as I love the idea of you in my life...." It goes on but I thought for sure he was breaking up with me. Who wouldn't after reading that it would be easier to do so...and lets face it, guys usually take the easy road out.

So I was upset. Very upset. I don't want to lose him. And it scared me

He later on said that he doesn't want to lose me either but that it might be inevitable that we break up anyway. How do I deal with this? I don't want to lose him, but at the same time I can't be walking on eggshells constantly worried that he might break up with me.

At the end of the conversation, he said that he may not want to go out with my tonight. I have given him his space all week, haven't seen him since Sunday. And no matter how much space I give him, it doesn't seem to be enough cause now he wants to be alone tonight too. Maybe he just doesn't want me in his life as much as I want him.

I don't know, but I am left very confused. And not sure if I can handle it. I know that I cannot handle another break up....I barely handled the last one.