Drifting into the Future

I was just viewing pictures on facebook of a friend's wedding. We grew up together and I remember having play dates at her house when we were in elementary school. We lost touch in college but are "facebook friends".

In viewing the beautiful pictures of her wedding, I noticed that a lot of her bridesmaids were all people I grew up with. Our circle of elementary school friends were all present in her bridal party.

It got me to thinking about how I never keep in touch with people, even my closest friends I have trouble calling or emailing. Because of this, I have lost many friends over the years when I could have lifelong friends. I was always jealous of the people who are still close friends with people they knew in high school or grammar school.

This also happens to me with work. The longest held job I have had is 3 years. I am constantly moving from job to job and am rarely happy in the one that I have. This has resulted in a resume that isn't so wanted by good companies. I am envious of my boyfriend who has worked for the same company for over 15 years, since high school. At the same time, even though I want that, I can't even imagine being at the same workplace for that long. I feel I would get bored. Someone told me that I am a drifter when it comes to work. I thought they were wrong at first but I think now that it is very true.

It has me worried about the future. I don't have many friends to begin with. Many of them live far away. I have a handful of friends from high school and college and don't really make friends at work. So when I get married, I will have no one to stand up with me as my bridal party. And I won't really have friends to support me through my life. When it comes time to have a family, will I be able to keep a steady job to support a child.

I am not making excuses for myself but I was recently reading about Adult ADHD and the things I am writing about here are some of the symptoms of the disorder. I am seriously beginning to wonder if that is the cause of all these issues.

How do I correct this? Who can help me with this? Or is it too late?

Addition

"Most people miss their whole lives, you know. Listen, life isn't when you
are standing on top of a mountain looking at the sunset. Life isn't
waiting at the altar or the moment your child is born or that time you were swimming in deep water and a dolphin came up alongside you. These are fragments. 10 or 12 grains of sand spread throughout your entire existence. These are not life. Life is brushing your teeth or making a sandwich or watching the news or waiting for the bus. Or walking.
Every day, thousands of tiny events happen and if you're not watching, if
you're not careful, if you don't capture them and make them count, you could miss it.

You could miss your entire life."

From the book Addition by Toni Jordan.

I just read this wonderful book, an excellent read. It reminded me a little of me and my boyfriend. I was perfect just the way I was when we met, just as he was perfect for me that cold New Year's Eve in 2009. You just have to accept each other and continue to love each other unconditionally. This book also reminded me to look at the little things, it will change your life.

Accomplishment

One of my friends just emailed me for advice. He was saying that he feels unaccomplished around other friends when he has to tell them that his long term relationship has ended. He feels like he has wasted seven years of his life.

Why is it that one can only have a good life if they are in a relationship or are married? Like a single person doesn't have other things in life to be proud of. Just cause we aren't in a relationship doesn't mean we haven't accomplished other things.

I know that breaking up can totally suck...been there done that. But sometimes breaking up and surviving it is the biggest accomplishment one can make. If you can survive heartbreak and move on and make it, then you can survive anything. Surviving a break up teaches you. You learn who you are (and who you're not), what to do and not do in the next relationship, who you are looking for as a partner and how to deal with life when it throws you a curve ball. If you ask me, those who have been through heartbreak have accomplished more than those who have never experienced it.

And to my friend who emailed me, if you are reading this and I hope you are, I AM PROUD OF YOU!