Fight for your Right to Not Party

My boyfriend just needs to date a party girl. Plain and simple, just needs to date a party girl.

I am not a party girl.

Not being a party girl has been causing us a lot of tiffs lately. Usually, he wants to go out and I don't. Or I want to leave early and he doesn't. Or he gets drunk, which annoys me and sometimes his drinking causes him to start fights that don't make sense.

It is so tiring. I am so over it.

Right now, he says he is "mad" at me. I say "mad" cause he is not fully all out angry, but still had to make the comments about it. Last night was his birthday. I left the whole night up to him. After we finished dinner, I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere else. He asked me if I wanted to go to this local bar. I said "its up to you". He said he was on the fence about it. He continued driving and turned towards his house and went home. I assumed that meant that he didn't want to go to the bar. He doesn't say anything about it....until tonight.

He says that I should have been more gung-ho about it and that I "boo-hoo"ed the event before we even got to dinner. If he wanted to go, being the 33 year that he is, he should have said something since I told him he could do anything on his day. It frustrates me that this gets turned onto me. (Everything always does).

Now, he wants to go out tonight. I don't want to go out tonight. I am so not in the mood to go out. Its a work night and I am tired of going out during the week. I am so tired of going out.

It is all that we do. Go to a bar. I like to do things like movies, bowling, mini golfing, dinner. We rarely get to do the activities that I wanna do but we go to a bar 3 or 4 nights a week. It is getting boring and tiring.

My boyfriend should date a party girl, not a want to get married, want to have children kind of girl. Not a want to settle down and stop partying kind of girl. Maybe I am not meant for him.

Moving On Up

I started a new job last week. For the past week, I have been floating around the school, working in various classrooms and doing different tasks. I have enjoyed this, but still would eventually like to have my own class.

Today, I got that offered to me. Their kindergarten teacher is leaving and they asked me to be her replacement. I am ecstatic about it. I love the children in there and I have a good rapport with them. It is only for the rest of this school year, since they already hired someone for the next school year. After June, I will be working more in the office since my boss is going on maternity leave. All of this pleases me. I am excited for it.

When I told my boyfriend about it and how excited I am for it, his response was "Boo. You want to be a director."

OK? That is true...I would like to be a director. However, I know that it takes work to move up in position. I have already been blessed at this position to be moving up as quickly as I am. So I am happy that they believe in my abilities and qualifications enough to offer me the position of kindergarten teacher. I am responsible, the kids in there already know me, so it is easy to make the transition.

In the past week, I have worked my tail off. I am proud of that. I want to show them that I am a good worker, a better worker than I used to be, and see it paid off for me! I am happy. I just wish that he was happier for me.

Out With The Bad, In With The Good

Yesterday, I had both a bad and a good day. Work was horrible, so horrible that I will resign after the events of yesterday. So that was bad. But I was able to obtain a job at a former employer, so that was good.

So my boyfriend gave me just what I needed. A night out at a local place to play rock band with friends! He knew that I needed to relax after the rough day and just needed to get my mind off of things. He also knew that we should celebrate the new job offer and getting out of a bad situation.

And I needed the cuddles and hugs and smiles and smooches from my loving boyfriend. So that didn't hurt either! He makes me feel better by giving me what I need. It calms me, relaxes me, makes me smile. He can turn my day around.

Lie, Cheat and Defriend

So, a few days ago, my friend called and told me that she got caught cheating on her boyfriend. He found emails and online chats between them. She called me to tell me that she told her boyfriend that I was using her computer to talk to a guy and that I was cheating on my boyfriend. I was pissed that she would drag me into a situation like that while smearing my integrity. I told her that I wouldn't lie for her, not because I didn't care for her, but I really didn't feel comfortable lying to anyone about something like that. Cheating is not something I believe in and I refuse to go against who I am just to cover up someone else's mistakes.

It doesn't bother me that she cheated. Though it is something I wouldn't do, I still feel like that was her choice. What bothered me is that she involved me in a situation that I didn't ask to be in and on top of that threatened my integrity, my values and my beliefs by asking me to lie to her boyfriend just so that he wouldn't break up with her. She made a mistake, but I don't see why I have to lie to someone to cover it up.

It really bothers me. I feel like a true friend would never put me in that situation. She was one of the closest friends I had around here. I guess she wasn't as good of a friend as I thought she was. Its just sad. She now will not talk to me and even went as immaturely "defriended" me from facebook. So childish.

I love and respect myself, my boyfriend and my relationship. I would never give all that up by lying or cheating. And having someone ask me to lie about just that is wrong. I refused to do it and in fact felt really good about standing up for myself and what I believe in. Even though I lost a friend, I know I did the right thing.

Snow Day

It snowed and it snowed and it snowed here over the weekend. It snowed so much we got over two feet of snow.

I wasn't sure about being snowed in but it wound up being fantastic. I got snowed in at my boyfriend's house. I was worried about this because I wasn't sure how it would go. Being cooped up sometimes makes people go nutty or start nit-picking over the little things. But instead, it brought us closer together. I spent 5 days there with no breaks. And I enjoyed it. And he enjoyed it too. I think after these snow days he is much closer to moving in together. YAY!

I loved it. I love spending time with him and 5 snow days was perfect for us. We talked about the little things and the big things. We lounged. We watched movies. We worked as a team to shovel snow. We made the whoopie several times. We laughed. We played games together. We had a snow ball fight. We had fun!

He makes me happy! I am happy!

Yo-Yo weight

I've been trying to lose weight. I say trying cause I haven't really lost any. I started on January 4th and have lost only 5 pounds at the most. But really my weight has fluctuated between losing 2 - 6 pounds.



It is discouraging. I really am trying. I eat much smaller portions and I am eating healthier. I exercise more than I did before. And yet, nothing. I am about to give up.



I feel now anxiety about eating. I worry that if I eat I will never lose weight. So I have cut out my night time snack for the most part. I try not to eat unless I am hungry. I don't know what to do. Someone told me that I am not eating enough to lose weight. And I understand how that may be true. I just am not hungry for it.



I lost weight last spring without even trying. Just lost 15 lbs over a 2 month period and I wasn't even trying! Then because of medication I gained it all back. Now I am trying and not losing. SO frustrating. Is my medicine preventing me from losing the weight? Should I start eating around the clock (even though I am not hungry for it)?



I need some motivation! I need some support! I need help!

Once Happy

Our friends are getting a divorce. The husband cheated on his wife and they are separating.

I have so many thoughts about this. It makes me sad to see two friends go through this. I am worried about their well being and about how their children will handle it. I know that we will have to be there for them as they go through these hard times.

It is impossible to know what happened to lead up to these events. No one knows what goes on in any relationship behind closed doors. We tend to think that everything is fine. With the growing number of divorced couples, I find it hard to believe that everyone is doing peachy.

It also makes me think about myself and my relationship, which I know is really selfish while this is going on. I just don't want that for us. We need to commit to each other that no matter what the issue is that we talk it through and work it out. If you love each other enough, you can work through anything.

I guess our friends lost their love somewhere along the way. Its sad to see a once happy couple have to go down this path. I will support their family. If this is the decision that they feel is best for their family, than we will be there for them to offer support, comfort and friendship.