All I Want For Christmas is a New Career

I visited the local business college to look at the medical assistant program. I was very impressed by it and really would like to enroll. The new possible career change excites me...a lot. I really finally feel like I have figured out what I want to do with my life. A few years late and a lot of floating around, but I feel like I have it figured out.

I am discouraged about the scheduling and cost of it all. It is either an all day program from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and will be finished with the program in a year; or its an evening program from 6 p.m to 9:45 p.m. And I am more than willing to do either one. I would prefer the day program but I also need to make money and need a full time job to help with paying for my bills as well as the tuition. So more likely the evening program will be the one for me.

I am waiting to hear back from the physical therapy office to see if they want to hire me as an assistant. In that case, I will have on the job training and can become certified later on.

I just want it all to fall into place and with the way things have been going lately I am having my doubts about if and when that will happen. Maybe I am being impatient but I have been waiting a long time.

At What Price?

I really want to be happy in my next job. So I was very excited when the physical therapy office that I go to needed a new medical assistant. I have no training in this field at all. But many of the doctors and therapists at the office have given me a good recommendation to the owner of the practice. They also assured me that they would train me on the job.

This possibility has me very excited. I am looking forward to a career change. It even has me wanting to go back to school to become a certified medical assistant.

For a few years now, I have been wanting to get out of the education field. I have totally lost my passion for teaching and have no desire to do it anymore. Honestly, I don't even want to work with children at all. So, I was very unsure when my boyfriend's boss asked me to be a nanny for his two children. Not only do I want to get out of the child care field, I highly dislike his boss. I think he is a jerk and every time I talk to him he makes me feel bad about myself. I am sure that this is not the kind of person that I want to have as my boss or to have to interact with everyday. That aside, this position would pay a lot more than I have ever made at any job. The money would be nice, but is it at the price of my happiness?

Deflated

New Job....new hatred for what I do.

I finally got a job in the public schools, something that most people with an education degree dream of having. I work in the before and after school program at a local public school district. I Thought it would be great. I thought that it would be just like what I was doing before just with older kids. But I was wrong. Sure, it definitely isn't as stressful with the children. But the hours are horrible... a big split shift with a 5 hour break mid-day. It makes for a long day....waking up early when it is dark to get home late when it is dark. But what I feel makes the job worse is the fact that there is no teaching going on at all. I am basically babysitting children before and after school while they do homework, color, put together puzzles and play cards. And yes, the occasional game of Uno cards can be pleasant and enjoyable, it is not something I want to be doing every day all day long at work.

I asked my site leader if I can do some projects or science experiments. And he told me not to bother. The children aren't interested and they are constantly getting interrupted by parent pick ups, other children and other games. I feel like my creativity and knowledge has been stifled.

When I interviewed for this position, I asked about starting enrichment programs based on the children' s interests and about projects and activities. And they described a program that was all that. Except its not.

So I am lost as to what to do. I just got a job...in the public schools which can give me good connections and help me get into a better position in the district later on. The hours, though in the long term suck, will help me in the short term with being able to go to physical therapy in the day on my long break. This job has very part time hours which means very minimal paycheck and the placement of the hours make it impossible to get another part time job to fill in the blanks.

I used to get excited to go to work. When I was working in preschools, seeing all those smiling excited faces ready to learn, planning lesson plans and art projects. I loved it. I couldn't wait to go to school the next day. Now I am not excited about it at all. I don't like having that feeling.

I'm feeling deflated. A bachelor's degree from a good school; thirteen years of teaching experience; certification....and I have an hourly part time after school babysitting-like position. Is this all I am worth?

Drifting into the Future

I was just viewing pictures on facebook of a friend's wedding. We grew up together and I remember having play dates at her house when we were in elementary school. We lost touch in college but are "facebook friends".

In viewing the beautiful pictures of her wedding, I noticed that a lot of her bridesmaids were all people I grew up with. Our circle of elementary school friends were all present in her bridal party.

It got me to thinking about how I never keep in touch with people, even my closest friends I have trouble calling or emailing. Because of this, I have lost many friends over the years when I could have lifelong friends. I was always jealous of the people who are still close friends with people they knew in high school or grammar school.

This also happens to me with work. The longest held job I have had is 3 years. I am constantly moving from job to job and am rarely happy in the one that I have. This has resulted in a resume that isn't so wanted by good companies. I am envious of my boyfriend who has worked for the same company for over 15 years, since high school. At the same time, even though I want that, I can't even imagine being at the same workplace for that long. I feel I would get bored. Someone told me that I am a drifter when it comes to work. I thought they were wrong at first but I think now that it is very true.

It has me worried about the future. I don't have many friends to begin with. Many of them live far away. I have a handful of friends from high school and college and don't really make friends at work. So when I get married, I will have no one to stand up with me as my bridal party. And I won't really have friends to support me through my life. When it comes time to have a family, will I be able to keep a steady job to support a child.

I am not making excuses for myself but I was recently reading about Adult ADHD and the things I am writing about here are some of the symptoms of the disorder. I am seriously beginning to wonder if that is the cause of all these issues.

How do I correct this? Who can help me with this? Or is it too late?

New York, New York

Our trip to New York that never was.

On Saturday, we were invited to a birthday party at a bar/restaurant in New York City called 230 Fifth. It was a rooftop bar and we were excited to go. We made reservations for a hotel room to stay over night and left early for the city so we could relax and eat dinner before the party began.

The trip was filled with traffic. Most of what we saw was brake lights. It was unusual to see so much traffic on a Saturday night and there we were stuck in it. We pulled over so I could use the bathroom and we got lost in Jersey City which set us back about a half hour. As we are approaching the Holland Tunnel, my boyfriend says "Uh Oh, I can't find my wallet!" We called home and no one could find it there, so we thought that it must be in our overnight bag in the trunk. We were stuck in traffic so we had to go through the tunnel before pulling over to see if it was there. It wasn't. We drove around the city for a little while but then returned home.

When we got home, we found the wallet in his pants pocket in his hamper. He had changed his pants right before we left for New York.

I was surprised at how well we handled the situation. At a time when we would be stressed and angry over it, we just laughed it off and relaxed at home. We were stressed. We were disappointed. We didn't let it get to us and we just enjoyed our ride around the city. I thought it would be a horrible night, but it turned out to be a wonderful one, very happy and loving.

Everything happens for a reason, it turns out that the group that did make it to the party did not have a great time. Our friend twisted her ankle and they wound up having to leave the party early to take her to an urgent care center.

Our night was beautiful and we laugh looking at it now. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Unsupportive Support System

From a guy who claims that I am selfish, my boyfriend sure is being selfish right now.



I am having surgery on my knee done on Friday for my torn ACL. I am naturally nervous for the procedure, especially since I have never had surgery before and have never been put under anesthesia. I also know that I am in good hands and that all will be well. I have done a lot of reading on the subject and feel pretty good about it.



I have planned all along to have my boyfriend drive me to the procedure. He agreed to this several weeks ago. Now it is two days until the surgery and he is acting like I never told him that. He says that he wants to be there for me but doesn't want to be sitting in a waiting room all day unless there is a real emergency. How he will know if there is a real emergency while sitting at home on a day he took off, I don't know.



I understand that it can be quite boring to sit in a waiting room. But if he were having surgery I would bring things to do knowing that I would be there in case there was an emergency. Not to mention that he stayed in the waiting room for hours last week when his dad had surgery. So the person I wanted to bring for support is not being so supportive. He is acting like I am interrupting his life for my surgery. He told me that I am getting panicked over this "minor event" when the nurse at the surgery center told me that this is major surgery.



So now I have to question...is he the one that I want to bring to surgery? And if he is this insensitive now then what about the future?

Blessing in Disguise

This ACL tear may be the best thing to ever happen to me.

While that is hard to say with all the pain and discomfort I am having, it may have done something wonderful for my career. Because I was hurt my work has not scheduled me, so I was laid off. I was down in the dumps thinking about how this injury has really put me in a bad spot. With no money being made and having a hard time getting around, I was really depressed. Then I decided to take action. I applied for unemployment, something my employer was very upset with me about. Then, I applied at every director, assistant director and administrative position in a child care setting that was in the tri-county area. I was willing to drive an hour away just to gain a good position and use my skills and knowledge for a leadership role. At first, I thought it would never work out. Until today. I have two interviews scheduled for tomorrow, both of them for a director position at brand new schools! I am super excited and hopeful that it all works out.

So even though I am in pain and can't do everything that I used to, I may be better off because of it.

"Why do blessings wear disguises? If I were a blessing, I'd run around naked!"