Today I got out my box of Christmas items that I accumulated while I lived with my now ex-boyfriend. There are some things in there that are just regular Christmas ornaments. Then there are other things that have special meaning and I will never be able to use again cause they remind me of him.
It has left me feeling a little sad. Like something is missing. That's been happening a lot lately. My brother moving into his own place has left me jealous and reminiscing. And now with the holidays...I don't know if I am going to get out of this funk.
Last year was my first Christmas back home after the break up and I was a little sad but also thankful to be back home. This year I am a little sad but I think it is for a different reason. I am jealous and a bit upset, but I certainly don't miss the ex-boyfriend. I am just sad that I haven't found love again. I guess I thought it would happen by now. I have been single for a year and half now and I was hopeful that by the second Christmas home that I would have someone to share it with. And since I don't, I just was wondering if I ever will find that person. Will I find him by next Christmas? I don't want just anybody, this time I hope he is "the one". But Santa, could you please bring him soon? I'm losing hope.
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