Every Little Thing

I have been particularly upset lately.

My birthday is coming up. For most people, this would cause happiness and excitement. For me however, it just reminds me of what I don't have and of memories of what I used to have. I keep thinking these thoughts that usually start out like "Last year at this time..." or "On my birthday last year..." and they all involve my ex-boyfriend or living on my own or seeing old friends that I no longer live near. It's upsetting.

Everyone keeps asking me what I have planned for my birthday. Honestly, I don't have anything planned because I don't have ANY friends around here. One would think I would since I grew up here but I don't. So not only do I have the miss of my ex-boyfriend on my mind but I have the increased loneliness due to a lack of friends. Is something wrong with me to have caused my friendless and dateless life? It's pathetic.

All this sadness and loneliness has put me in a mood that has caused me some problems with work. I have been getting stressed more easily and today I snapped at a co-worker which led to a meeting with my boss. Every little thing is annoying me and I am more sensitive to comments that otherwise wouldn't bother me at all.

I wish I knew what to do to prevent these feelings and the fallout caused by the feelings. I with I could have prevented all of this...hindsight is 20/20.

I hope to have a great birthday, a great day and a great year. I just wish I had someone to share it with.

My Twinkie

I have a friend named Angie. She is someone I met in college while living in the dorms. We have grown to be great friends, sisters really. I call her my "twinkie" cause when we were in college people used to think that we were twins. We kinda look alike and were ALWAYS hanging out together. We could look at each other and know what the other was thinking (this has freaked out several of Angie's dates...our non-verbal communication skills are unmatched!)

I love this girl. She is my sister. She is my twin. She is always there for me no matter what, even if this means that she drives from Ohio getting two speeding tickets in the process because she knew I needed her to be there for me. When I am sad or depressed, Angie always knows the right things to say (or not to say). I know that she will love me no matter what and not judge me. It is unconditional love....like a twin would have for her sister.

My point in writing this is that all one needs are great friends to get by. Recently, when I was upset and missing my ex, Angie knew what I needed...someone to listen and to share advice and to get my mind off of it by making me smile.

I can't imagine life without my friends, no matter how far away they are in distance, they remain close to me in my heart.

Thanks Twinkie for all that you do! I love you!